REIGNITING YOUR SEX LIFE: THE POTENCY OF MEMORY
Where libido—and indeed, one’s entire sexual being—is concerned, there is a single organ that supersedes all others: the brain. If you are a man in a long-term relationship, it’s likely that you’re very aware of your partner’s desires. But maybe years of living with ED has made you put them on hold. Now that your problem is under control and you’re ready to have sex, think about your partner.
Begin by remembering the person who attracted you. This is the person you fantasized about. Recall those times when you were closest. Consider that she is still there with you, but doesn’t have a pill that will help to boost and restore her sexual longing. To help her unleash those sleeping passions, you need to reestablish an emotional connection. Your desire for her must be conveyed in the ways that you remember she likes. These, of course, will vary greatly from couple to couple. But you know yourself—and your partner. It’s up to you to go the necessary distance.
Without acknowledging the other person’s wants and needs, sex cannot be the totally encompassing event that you hope it will be. Getting to know someone well does take time—and is worth the effort. A person whose longings and pleasures are recognized is going to be a lot more receptive than one whose libido is dismissed or ignored. Not paying attention is an added stress, which can only serve to harm your relationship.
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